Please Watch Your Child So I Don't Have To

So we went to Chuck E Cheese's today.  On a sunday.  In the afternoon.  It.  Was.  Packed.  Now this is usually a once a year thing that we do on my daughter's birthday.  Which has fallen during the week for the past few years.  So we had forgotten the craziness of this place on the weekends.  But this year she decided she was too old for that and picked a different special activity for her birthday.  So today we were meeting friends and having lunch just for fun.  

Now places like this wouldn't be so bad if everybody watched their own children.  Sounds simple, right?  Well apparently it is just way way way too much trouble to bring your children to a public place and the pay attention to what they are doing.  I'm all for letting kids be kids but come on.  And I'm betting most parents reading this know what I'm talking about.  There is always that one parent, or parents that have no idea what their kids are up to and its usually no good.  

Today, I was kicked in the shin by a kid throwing a hissy fit.  We were cut in line I have no idea how many times.  I watched as hubby patiently took his skeeball balls from a little boy of about 2 one by one because his parents were nowhere to be seen.  At least 5 little ones (under 5) hit me up for tokens because once again, no parent in sight.  I understand this is a place to let kids run around and play, but don't you at least want to know what your child is doing?  Sadly no, and while I'm irritated at the moment as I pull someone's child down off a game before they fall and get hurt, I later feel bad that their mommy or daddy wasn't there to play with them to keep them from doing these things.  

So that's my rant.  Just another silly annoyance in the big scheme of things but I really think if we had more hands on parents then other things around may improve as well. 

Hospital Wishes

when i scheduled my csection date for my son i had this image in my head of us coming out of the operating room back to our private room and daddy mommy and baby having some wonderful bonding time before my daughter and mother came to enjoy our new bundle of joy.  i had politely asked all other friends and family to stay away that first day so that our new little family could just enjoy each other.  and then had to request this a little less politely when certain family members wanted to be there as soon as i got out of surgery (this would be the sister in law).  but i had made my point, we were to be left alone that first day.  i was having major surgery, i was giving this whole breastfeeding thing a shot, we just wanted some privacy. 

they day of comes, and we head to the hospital at an ungodly hour (my daughter had stayed the night at my parents' to make our departure easier).  check in, get prepped, go into OR, have baby (will save those details in case i want to do a birth story or something) return to room.  hubby and i spend the next hour oohhing and aaahhing over our adorable baby boy, counting and recounting his fingers and toes, marveling over the swirl of baby hair and find out that he's already a confident little eater.  hubby has finally waited long enough and says he needs to go have a cigarette and get some breakfast.  yes! i get the baby all to myself and some piece and quiet.  i call my mom to find out that her and my daughter will still be a couple of hours before visiting.  even better.  so i'm happily cuddling my new baby when a nurse comes in.  *sigh* she wants to bath baby etc.  but luckily she is doing so right in the room so baby is right next to me just looking around the room.  this is a minor annoyance but i understand its procedure so i can accept the intrustion.

it is while he is being redressed that my door opens (no knock first) and a woman enters with a little girl and comes walking in like we are old dear friends or...family.  it is then i realize this is hubby's mom, who i have never met because they went more than 15 years without speaking and she had just recently become a part of his life again.  HIS life, my daughter and i were yet to meet her.  and now here she was.  not only a huge invasion on my alone time with my baby but hubby wasn't even there.  i was beyond pissed.  she introduced herself and the little girl (hubby's neice who lives with his mom) like she had every reason to be there.  my response was "i really wish you had called first, we didn't want any visitors today." she said "oh well he sent me a text saying the baby had been born."  i'm sorry, how is that a freaking invitation?  as she gazed at my perfect baby i had a turmoil of emotions.  firstly i was proud because he was beautiful and i could tell how she was looking at him that she thought so too.  but more so i was pissed because here she was seeing him before his own sister had even seen him.  or my mother (who is a HUGE part of our lives not some new person) for that matter.  i just wanted her to leave but i was raised to be polite to a fault so i couldn't bring myself to tell her to go.  however, the nurse handed me back my baby and i made no offer for her to hold him, nor did i make any effort for small talk.  luckily her visit only lasted about 15 minutes but was so uncomfortable for me if felt like hours. 

the rest of our day went as i had planned, but even though it sounds trivial i had a hard time working past that 15 minutes.  it just felt like such an intrusion it was very hard for me to recover from.  as i said in a previous post i don't like unexpected visitors but this one seemed even worse.  i know its been almost 3 months since then but a discussion on another page made me think about it and it got me all fired up again so i thought i'd vent it here.

anyone else ask family or friends (or just certain people) to stay away while you were in the hospital or maybe even when you first came home?  how did they take it and did it work?

"drops ins"

ok so here is my first big rant.  yesterday we are enjoying a lazy morning while hubby does some side work.  when he comes home he says his mom is going to stop later but will call first.  now first i should clarify that my mother in law is very new to me.  hubby and i have been together almost nine years and i've only met her once very recently due to their lack of a relationship for over 15 years.  so she is still considered "company" to me.  fifteen minutes after he tells me she'll be by later she shows up!  not only her and her adopted daughter but the woman she is living with (a believe her girlfriend?) and this woman's granddaughter as well.  this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. i  do not like unexpected company at all.  so my house wasn't up to par by my standards, the baby was in his pjs and down for his much needed first nap in the living room, and i still required a shower.  so i jumped into the shower and let hubby handle a 10 second pick up of the front room while they came up the walk lol.  my problem is this gets me so ticked that i then have a hard time calming myself down to come play the gracious hostess.  am i so wrong to ask for a heads up when company is coming?  not a single member of my family has ever just dropped in unannounced in the entire 8 years we've lived together but his family seems to make a habbit of it.  what are your pet peeves?  are there certain things your spouse's or boyfriend's family does that just drives you crazy?  what have you done to work past it?  i could use some advice on this one so that when the unexpected happens i'm not so stressed about it.

Just Need a Good Vent

So I promise to come back later and give a welcome and a bit about myself to start out but since I'm starting this as a way to vent some frustrations, allow me to start by venting.

So I'll start off by saying I'm pro all sorts of natural parenting. I love breastfeeding my baby, i love cuddling with him in our bed, i hate hearing him cry so he never gets to for long. But i love things that are not considered natural parenting at all, he does sleep in his crib (or his swing, car seat, blanket on the floor, bouncer wherever he falls asleep is usually where he stays until he wakes up), he is circumcised, and I have on occasion used formula (gasp!) yes formula to supplement him when it seems he has gone through growth spurts that my body just couldn't keep up with. Do any of these factors make me a bad parent? No, absolutely not. I know, I know there are moms who agree. There are moms that would say I'm a bad parent because my family doesn't eat organic, in fact, we eat a lot of crap food, I'll be the first to admit it.
So here's my problem. I can't help but feel guilty and want to embellish the truth when around my "crunchy" mom friends. Why is it that I feel bad about the way I parent only when around certain people. I wonder to myself does this make their opinions right, or are they just so overbearing on their opinions that you can't help but to feel that way. I find myself trying to do more things the way I read they should be done, I follow all sorts of natural/attached parenting blogs and pages, but in my real day to day life they just don't work. Does that mean I love my family any less? I certainly don't think so. Are any of my methods better than those of others? No, again, I don't think so. So why do I keep getting stuck with this guilty feeling? Anyone else feel you are an perfectly imperfect mom yet have insecurities when around a certain type of parent that differs from your own opinion? Are you honest with what you do differently or do you try to "blend in" with what's popular with a certain group?