when i scheduled my csection date for my son i had this image in my head of us coming out of the operating room back to our private room and daddy mommy and baby having some wonderful bonding time before my daughter and mother came to enjoy our new bundle of joy. i had politely asked all other friends and family to stay away that first day so that our new little family could just enjoy each other. and then had to request this a little less politely when certain family members wanted to be there as soon as i got out of surgery (this would be the sister in law). but i had made my point, we were to be left alone that first day. i was having major surgery, i was giving this whole breastfeeding thing a shot, we just wanted some privacy.
they day of comes, and we head to the hospital at an ungodly hour (my daughter had stayed the night at my parents' to make our departure easier). check in, get prepped, go into OR, have baby (will save those details in case i want to do a birth story or something) return to room. hubby and i spend the next hour oohhing and aaahhing over our adorable baby boy, counting and recounting his fingers and toes, marveling over the swirl of baby hair and find out that he's already a confident little eater. hubby has finally waited long enough and says he needs to go have a cigarette and get some breakfast. yes! i get the baby all to myself and some piece and quiet. i call my mom to find out that her and my daughter will still be a couple of hours before visiting. even better. so i'm happily cuddling my new baby when a nurse comes in. *sigh* she wants to bath baby etc. but luckily she is doing so right in the room so baby is right next to me just looking around the room. this is a minor annoyance but i understand its procedure so i can accept the intrustion.
it is while he is being redressed that my door opens (no knock first) and a woman enters with a little girl and comes walking in like we are old dear friends or...family. it is then i realize this is hubby's mom, who i have never met because they went more than 15 years without speaking and she had just recently become a part of his life again. HIS life, my daughter and i were yet to meet her. and now here she was. not only a huge invasion on my alone time with my baby but hubby wasn't even there. i was beyond pissed. she introduced herself and the little girl (hubby's neice who lives with his mom) like she had every reason to be there. my response was "i really wish you had called first, we didn't want any visitors today." she said "oh well he sent me a text saying the baby had been born." i'm sorry, how is that a freaking invitation? as she gazed at my perfect baby i had a turmoil of emotions. firstly i was proud because he was beautiful and i could tell how she was looking at him that she thought so too. but more so i was pissed because here she was seeing him before his own sister had even seen him. or my mother (who is a HUGE part of our lives not some new person) for that matter. i just wanted her to leave but i was raised to be polite to a fault so i couldn't bring myself to tell her to go. however, the nurse handed me back my baby and i made no offer for her to hold him, nor did i make any effort for small talk. luckily her visit only lasted about 15 minutes but was so uncomfortable for me if felt like hours.
the rest of our day went as i had planned, but even though it sounds trivial i had a hard time working past that 15 minutes. it just felt like such an intrusion it was very hard for me to recover from. as i said in a previous post i don't like unexpected visitors but this one seemed even worse. i know its been almost 3 months since then but a discussion on another page made me think about it and it got me all fired up again so i thought i'd vent it here.
anyone else ask family or friends (or just certain people) to stay away while you were in the hospital or maybe even when you first came home? how did they take it and did it work?
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